Tuesday, August 19, 2008

Gregg Easterbrook Totally Calls out DC Comics

This paragraph is in this week's Tuesday Morning Quarterback on ESPN.com:

Meanwhile, I read that Christian Bale, who plays Batman in "The Dark Knight" -- the movie bore no relation whatsoever to Frank Miller's 1986 graphic novel "The Dark Knight," which revived the Batman craze -- says his favorite of the many Batman graphic novels is "Dark Victory." I got a copy. In it, Batman battles the Joker, Harvey Dent, Poison Ivy, Mr. Freeze, Pengy and the rest in the sewers of Gotham City. The sewers are cavernous, with only trickles of water running along the bottom; so large the giant Solomon Grundy, who's 20 feet tall, strides through them easily. The sewers lead to doors that open throughout Gotham City, allowing Joker and the rest to strike, then vanish. Gotham's enormous cathedral-ceiling sewers appear to be the greatest public-works project in human history, yet no one knows they exist. Batman has to discover the sewers to determine how the super-villains are moving around the city. And the sewers have a door that leads to the Batcave, which contains -- a bottomless pit.

What the fuck DC Comics? Can’t you write a story about a billionaire playboy who moonlights as a bat while fighting crime against a grown man-penguin, a guy in a cryogenic suit who shoots ice and a guy with a half normal/half terribly deformed face that flips a coin to decide if he’s going to kill someone AND INCLUDE A BELIEVABLE PORTRAYAL OF THIS FICTIONAL CITY’S SEWER SYSTEM! You can’t fool the TMQ, bitches!

Now, who will answer to the TMQ about the insanity of the subway system in Metropolis or the Daily Bugle’s lack of any required Federal labor laws posted in the break room! Please answer the comic gods!


Larry B said...

You never crowd our turf, friend. I'll link you when I do a full Easterbrook post later today.

Bengoodfella said...

I tried to read TMQ one time and it just seemed very incoherent and difficult for me to read. I am not sure if it was because I am stupid or simply because he is stupid. Based on this Batman mention in his column, I am going to say there is nothing wrong with me and he is stupid. I am going to be a regular TMQ reader from now on...even if it takes me 3 days to read a column.

Archie Micklewhite said...

I also feel it's immensely important to point out Frank Miller's book was actually called The Dark Knight Returns.

Oh, and I haven't read Dark Victory, so maybe the portrayal is different there, but Grundy is usually only about seven or eight feet, tops. So he may be exaggerating the scale of the sewer system just a bit.

This is the greatest post about anything ever.