Health Sort of Relates to Sports, Right?

Sometimes I sort of feel lucky to live in this day and age. When so much has been discovered, and humans are now so enlightened and educated. Because I am lucky enough to exist in these times, I know that you can’t, say, eat plastic or drink filthy mud water and expect to be healthy. Also, you can’t just sit around every day and expect to have muscles and very little fat. See, you need clean water, protein, and exercise. Shit like that. But WHY? What's the point?

That’s the question that’s often bothered me. WHY? Why can’t I just be a 400 pound fat shit who sustains myself on a diet of Pepsi and Ring Dings? I don’t get it. Lucky for me, my "My Yahoo!" page includes some health articles, and I stumbled on this gem.

Getting in shape reduces death risk

DALLAS - The more fit you are, the longer you're likely to live, according to a large study of veterans that applies to black men as well as white men. The Veterans Affairs researchers found that the "highly fit" men in the study had half the risk of death as those who were the least fit. Being "very highly fit" cut the risk even more, by 70 percent.

Slow down. My world is spinning. But what about the Pepsi and Ring Dings? Does this mean I have to get off the couch?

The research builds on what is already known about the benefits of exercise and fills in some gaps by addressing the effects of fitness in blacks.

So we knew this about white folks, but not about black folks? I knew this! Why didn’t they ask me? They probably spent hundreds of thousands of dollars on this study. Goodguyatsporst@gmail.com. There it is assholes….it’s on this page every day! It’s almost like they aren’t reading.

All it took was:

"Dear Jeff at GGAS, does being “highly fit” lessen the risk of death?"

I would have said: "Yes, for all colors and shapes, homies."

"A little bit of exercise goes a long way," said Peter Kokkinos, lead author of the study. "Thirty minutes a day, five days a week of brisk walking is likely to reduce the risk of mortality by 50 percent if not more."

It then goes on to say that the average age in the study was 60. I think that’s a big flaw, as I’m sure the really really really healthy people died a long time before 60. So don’t overdo it out there.