Monday, July 28, 2008

Scoop Jackson and Whatnot

Scoop Jackson wrote about what a swell year 1998 was for Sports. The column included this paragraph:

Now think of the effect of that shot. That last one of Michael Jordan's true career, the end of the Bulls Era. (Note: The previous game -- the flu/food poison game -- is still considered by many as Jordan's greatest performance.)

Now think of how you, Scoop, Mr. NBA writer...former editor of Slam Magazine (I think)....didn't know the Flu game was game 5 of the '97 Finals, not '98. Seems minor, but any NBA writer would remember that the flu game was in Utah, as was game 6 of '98. So even if it's a typo on the year, he should have realized that they don't play game 5 and 6 in the same any round of the playoffs.

I've been working like 70 hours a week and neglecting my fantasy team, so I click a link on the yahoo page to check out some solid fantasy advice from Brad Evans.

Shrouded by Randy Johnson's hillbilly-sexy mullet, Eric Byrnes'medical record stacks and discarded tissues shed over Chris Snyder's originally-diagnosed-fractured-but-was-technically-bruised testicle is an underappreciated Snake that has slithered in the desert.

The pitcher poisonous reptile is Chad Tracy.

Brad are trying way to hard. Like....10 x's too hard. You have an easy, bullshit job. Just tell me who to pick up.

Over the past three weeks, the corner infielder's swing has sizzled like the sweltering sun in the Sonoran sky.

Can't you just say: Pick up Chad Tracy, and then give me some stats? No? That's not "bringing the noise, yo", like only a 30 year old whiteboy can?

During that span he's hit safely in 13 of 17 games, hammering out 22 hits in 58 at-bats (.379 BA). His 14 RBIs, eight runs and eight extra-base hits in that stretch are equally impressive.

Hey! That's helpful.

Let's see what he has to say about Melvin Mora:

Mora has rampaged through opposing pitchers with Cal Ripken flair since the break. Injected with cortisone, and presumably the Iron Man's DNA, earlier this month.....

Injected with the "Iron Man's DNA" sounds kind of gay.

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