Thursday, June 26, 2008

Hey, a Non-Sports Related Post!

So I stumbled on this random bit on Yahoo “Buzz!” about certain celebrities “real” names. The list included the top 20 searches for real names over the last past week.

Let’s see if you can spot the one that makes no fucking sense.

1. Tiger Woods (Eldrick Woods)
2.
Madonna (Madonna Ciccone)
3.
Lil' Wayne (Dwayne Carter Jr.)
4.
Miley Cyrus (Destiny Hope Cyrus)
5.
Coco Crisp (Covelli Crisp)
6.
Hilary Banks (played by Karyn Parsons)
7.
Gene Simmons (Chaim Witz)
8.
Hulk Hogan (Terry Bollea)
9.
Larry the Cable Guy (Daniel Lawrence Whitney)
10.
Ray Stevens (Harold Ray Ragsdale)
11.
Bow Wow (Shad Gregory Moss)
12.
Soulja Boy (DeAndre Ramone Way)
13.
Triple H (Paul Michael Levesque)
14.
Bono (Paul Hewson)
15.
Sting (Gordon Sumner)
16.
Jay-Z (Shawn Carter)
17.
Tila Tequila (Tila Nguyen)
18.
Marilyn Manson (Brian Warner)
19.
John Wayne (Marion Morrison)
20.
Prince (Prince Rogers Nelson)

If you said “6”, congratulations, you’re correct. Let’s run down why this is retarded.

1. Hilary Banks isn’t a “stage name” or nickname, as all the other names are – it’s the name of a character on a mildly successful TV show (The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air).
2. The last new episode of The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air aired in 1996.
She wasn’t even the main character?!?!?
3. After her stint on Fresh Prince, she was in exactly 1 movie (The Ladies Man) and did 1-2 episodes of a few TV shows, the last being in 2002 (Static Shock was the show).
4. More searched than “Bono”??!??!?!??!

Maybe this is why Yahoo is getting its ass kicked by Google; its search data is crap. Other than Yahoo being fucked up, my guess is that Karyn Parsons has a stalker who looks her up online non-stop but can only remember her as “Hilary Banks”.

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