You Want To Do What To Barry Bonds?

This column was discussed on FireJayMariotti, but I can’t let this slide.

Gregg Doyel of CBS Sportsline talking about the All-Star game and Barry Bonds. Take it away you sick, unfunny sonofabitch:

Even the pregame introductions are cool. One by one, the greatest players in America's greatest game trot onto the field. Sometimes the crowd cheers, sometimes the crowd boos, and half the fun is trying to guess what the reception will be. And then there's that goose-bump moment when the home stadium's All-Star is introduced. That guy, whoever it is, always gets the biggest cheer of the night. That's the way it should be, and even though I know it's coming, I still get tingly every time.

I don't want to tingle tonight. I would tinkle, however, all over Bonds if I could. I'd tinkle on Bonds and then the 30,000 or 40,000 hypocritical San Francisco fans who will cheer him tonight, their misguided applause producing a moment that would never give me goose bumps -- but might give me goiter.

Put aside the silly outrage. Put aside the hyperbole. How does something this stupid end up on a mainstream web site?

I have not heard the word tinkle since I was six.

I have nothing to add. I have a feeling this isn't the last I'll be featuring this wackjob though.