Your English Teacher Would Dislike Bill Plaschke

Bill Plaschke of the LA Times has a writing style that I can’t take very often. He could be writing about ME and I would tune him out after 7 one-sentence paragraphs. He also will throw in all these little cutesy statements that are supposed to be clever and/or give us a warm feeling. If you look here, you can see a good representation of his style. There is nothing particularly egregious as far as content goes, this is just his standard work.

A quick summary:
- 878 words
- 33 one sentence paragraphs. 33! His other paragraphs were just as short anyway.
- 40 paragraphs total.

This line:

We're so busy worrying about You Know Who lying, we are missing Ichiro flying, and Junior striding, and K-Rod nearly crying.

But were they all trying? I don’t know I was just eyeing. Larussa had an excuse for shying away from using Pujols in the ninth but I wasn’t buying, and who cares it was so long I was dying.

…and this line:

With Vladimir Guerrero winning the home run-hitting contest and Rodriguez earning the save, the two days were touched by Angels indeed.

Awwwwwwww.